Poetry in Motion Mondays: Not Just For Me

Not Just For Me

I’ve felt this coming deep in my bones
Like the incessant hum of a cricket’s chirp
The buzz I feel, I see, I know
It’s been there waiting – poised
Ready to spring forth at a moment’s notice
I’ve been living a lie and a lie is my life
And I shall pay the price
Yet no – not just me.
My insecurities and inabilities
Threaten to tear me apart
A bone chilling end to what was:
“A pretty good run.”
But, running is all I have been doing
Constant, un-ending running
Fearing everything – knowing nothing
Ruining it all for me
But not just me
I ignored what could happen
Blindly living for the now
Now the future is all I want
I’m desperately grasping for some glimpse
Just to get one look
Now minutes seem like an eternity
I’m begging to see my destiny
But mine isn’t the only one I need to see
I feel like a failure
I don’t want to lose hope
But, I feel it slipping away
The incessant hum dissolved
Into an oppressive silence
The sound of nothing can be so deafening

But, I need to persevere
And not just for me
My legs feel shaky and my heart unsteady
But I’ll pick myself up
Ignore the humming and the silence
I can face my fears and confront my fate
No, I don’t know what my future will be
But, I know it will be amazing
Because it has to be
I need it to be
I can’t disappoint my family.

About Elizabeth Kennedy

I’m mom and the other half of dads-deals. I am also the proud mother to 2 beautiful little snuggle bugs: a 6 year old and a newborn. I like to challenge myself and will often do something on a whim. I hope to share these experiences with you. Another thing that I hope to share with you all are the challenges and rewards of balancing working a full-time job and making time to be with and enjoy my amazing little family.
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